Week Seven: navigating a failing business

Today sucked. I spent more time sulking in my bed or bathtub  then I did getting much of anything done. I'm just keeping it real, ya'll! I got a few wands made, stayed present in my stories and cut all the bows for the season to sew up samples sometime this week. Nothing is on a strict schedule right now. It's the only way I am being kind to myself- but also, I hate it because I work way better on a strict schedule (usually!) 
3.5hrs 

$0.00

Monday, November 14
I was productive today. I cut all of the holiday items, sewed up samples and completed all 21 bow samples for the month. I shipped out 10 orders that I needed to complete and listed my wands in a sample sale. I've never offered this product before, and I definitely learned while I produced, so why not have a sample sale to get people buying and excited about these new accessories. It took so much work photographing, videoing, scheduling and prepping all in the same day- But I did it... and I guess it paid off. I sold 18 of them in the first hour! I'm just gonna take the win. Because after that, nothing else seemed to go right. When life hands you lemons, they seem to throw them rather then hand them... 

10.5hrs
$133.54
(This includes a random wholesale order for 6 bloomers that came through) 


Tuesday, November 15
It' going to be an insane day. I am determined to finish all of these wands- 100 in total! YIKES! I've got all of my holiday items cut out just waiting on transfers. 
I spent a lot of time making content today, finishing the wands! (YAY!) Sent two emails, went back and forth in emails a LOT today and got punched while I was down (no one tells you there's a downside to pins going viral--- it brings you customers who aren't used to handmade items. I literally had a  customer call my romper a NAPKIN today) I am feeling so defeated and my body is killing me but I just keep telling myself if I try harder and get through my impossible to-do list then something good will come from it. 
I did so many things today I couldn't even name them all! 

12.5 hrs :( 
$33.00


Wednesday, November 16
I spent most of the day running from doctor appointments. More bad news. Always. So I talked really bad to myself, skipped dinner and then sewed from about 6pm-1am. Of course, throughout the day I was present on all social media platforms as if that was going to save me. I am really hoping Friday goes well. I tried so hard with these five pieces for holidays. They have to come if I give them plenty of options, right!? 
11(ish)hrs
$0.00 - SHOCKER


Thursday, November 17
I am literally losing hope. I am so nervous because I tried so hard. I spent all my time today photographing this collection. Product photos, flatlay, zoomed in videos, everything on hangers videos. I broke my body today. It hurts so bad and I am so mad at myself that getting these photos hurt me so bad- worse yet, they aren't great photos. I don't need anything against me with this collection. I am betting everything on this collection. It's my biggest planned drop- it's where I assume my biggest sales day of the year will be, and now I am upset because I am telling myself these photos won't be enough to get them sold. 
Loading the website, taking a bath and going to have an all night sew session even though my body is screaming, "GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!" 
16hrs (technically 4 of these hours are Friday) 
$0.00
I am losing all hope 


Friday, November 18
Today's the day and Shopify goes down! FAHHHK!
It wiped all my photos (no worries if they were bad or not when they don't load at all) Then they were wiping out carts and emptying them and the entire time I got an error message trying to fix anything. 
One customer messaged me with a question and did end up checking out. 
I HAD ONE ORDER ALL DAY! I thought I was going to have AT LEAST a $1200 day (which would still be 1/3 of my typical holiday drops from prior years) 
Nope.... I am refusing to sew today. I'm going to cry, lay in bed and be okay with resting and crying today. This is beyond bad. 
4.5hrs
(and I called this a day off-and didn't count the minutes, hours of crying and refreshing stats) 
$91.80


Saturday, November 19

I woke up took a bath, found the heating blanket to drape over my office chair so my back and joints will shut the hell up, and got back to sewing. Time to push through and close out any of the few open orders. 
Then the mail arrived. The commissioner office wrote me to tell me I am being reviewed for revocation of my sales and use license. It appears I've failed to pay Q2 and Q3 taxes. Worse yet, I am certain my remittance would be less then the late fee. I cannot win. Not one single win. 

9hrs
$0.00

Sorry this is so depressing, yall. But gaw- is it real.... 

Total hours: 67 (WTF, DORIE?!?!) 
Total Sales: $265.40

$3.96/hr WOW!!!!!
I went to FIVE dr appts, got 4 new diagnosis, 3 new meds, a cortisone shot, 2 physical therapy sessions, cooked dinner 3 nights this week, kept kids alive, kept myself alive, cared for 4 animals and worked 67 fucking hours (for that business- at least another 20 hours for other businesses) 

Who the fuck do I think I am !?!? Gal Gadot!? I am not Gal Gadot. 
I have got to fucking back off! This is insanity.